Finding the Silver Lining in Betrayal: Lessons Learned

By Vanessa Cardenas, Betrayal Recovery Specialist

Serving Westchester, NYC, and the Surrounding Region in person, worldwide via Zoom

Seeing the Good in Betrayal

How might I? ~ how might I? ~ how might I see the good in my whole world shattering with three words? ("I've met someone.")

I asked this often. Even in counseling, years ago, I contemplated and lamented to our marriage therapist that I MUST be going through all this gut-wrenching pain and sorrow of betrayal for a reason.

Searching for Meaning

A reason, at the time, wasn’t presenting itself, but for as long as I can remember, I always thought this way…things happened (to me) for a reason. Something better would be around the corner.

Sometimes, it was a whisper or a nudge. This time it was a shove down a flight of stairs (felt more like off a skyscraper roof).

Struggling to Find Clarity

And this time, rather than being patient, as I always waited for the reason to present itself, I strained to see it. I tried to clear my mind of all the intrusive thoughts and images. I struggled. Why wasn’t it presenting itself? Doubt crept in, but I knew in my bones the reason was there, waiting to be unearthed.

Of course, when I wasn’t straining and looking, it appeared before me. She looked right into my eyes, and what was to be a 10-minute meet-and-greet turned into 90 minutes of profound wisdom. She picked at it, tugged, pushed, and pulled until I let go—and gave birth.

Discovering Purpose and Mission

It was born. My purpose. My mission.

My healing heart sang. My mood lifted. My energy soared.

There it was. I went through betrayal years ago so I could lead others through it. I’ve been through my own personal hell. I walked out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.

Embracing Healing and Clarity

Today, I own my betrayal, no longer consumed by fear, shame, rage or sadness. I have clarity. I found my authentic self.

Now, I have the privilege of helping others all over the world to break free from negative self-beliefs, build confidence in themselves, and find direction in the dark. Lessons were learned.

Offering Guidance and Support

I have been where you are, and I am on the other side with a map and a flashlight. Together, we will get you through.

Quote: “Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.”

~Brené Brown

Subscribe for More Insights:

If you found this article insightful and would like to receive similar content delivered directly to your email, please subscribe to our newsletter. Stay updated with the latest information, tips, and strategies for managing life's transitions. Don't miss out on valuable insights that can empower you to make the best decisions for your future. Join our community today, and let's navigate these challenges together. Subscribe now!