A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime: What Happens When Betrayal Crashes the Relationship?
By Vanessa Cardenas, Betrayal Recovery Specialist
Serving Westchester, NYC, and the Hudson Valley Region in person, worldwide via Zoom
Understanding the Importance of Healthy Relationships
As a Betrayal Recovery Specialist, I understand the importance of healthy relationships to our mental and physical well-being. I strongly encourage clients to avoid "turtling" and remove the rose-colored glasses to truly see their relationship for what it truly is. Which is what I had to do when my husband of 20+ years simply stated, "I've met someone."
One concept that has gained popularity in recent years is the idea that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
While this concept is often applied to friendships, in an interesting twist, I have applied it to relationships that are affected by intimate partner betrayal.
Let's explore how the concepts of reason, season, and lifetime relationships relate:
A "Reason" Relationship
Sometimes, we enter into relationships for a brief period of time, but they can still have a significant impact on our lives. For example, you might have met someone at a party and started dating them for a few weeks. However, you later found out that they were cheating on you with multiple partners. Although it hurt you, this relationship taught you to set healthy boundaries and recognize red flags in future relationships.
A "Season" Relationship
Seasonal relationships are those that last for a longer period of time but eventually come to an end. For example, you might have been married to someone for several years, but eventually, you discovered that they had been lying to you and hiding their addiction to adult content. You eventually ended the relationship, but not before it had a significant impact on your life. However, despite the pain and heartache, you learned to prioritize your own needs and make decisions that were best for you.
A "Lifetime" Relationship
Lifetime relationships are those that endure over the course of many years and can bring us great joy and fulfillment. For example, you might have been with your partner for many years and have built a life together. However, you recently discovered that they have been having an affair for a long time. Although it has caused you tremendous pain and hurt, you are both willing to work through it together and try to rebuild your relationship.
Prioritizing Well-Being and Setting Boundaries
No matter what type of relationship we find ourselves in, it's important to prioritize our own well-being and set healthy boundaries. In the face of intimate partner betrayal, it can be particularly challenging to navigate these issues, but it's crucial that we do so in order to build relationships that are positive and fulfilling.
Letting Go of Toxic Relationships
Positive relationships can have a significant impact on our mental and physical health, but it's important to be willing to let go of toxic relationships, even if we thought they were "lifetime" relationships. By remembering the good while accepting the bad, we can focus on building relationships that bring us joy and help us grow.
Applying the Concept of Reason, Season, and Lifetime
The concept of reason, season, and lifetime relationships can be applied to all types of relationships, including those that are affected by intimate partner betrayal. By prioritizing our own well-being and setting healthy boundaries, we can build relationships that are positive, fulfilling, and transformative.
Final Thoughts
Healing from betrayal is one of the hardest journeys you’ll ever take, but you don’t have to take it alone. Whether you’re just starting to pick up the pieces or searching for clarity, there’s a path forward that leads to healing, growth, and rediscovery of your strength.
To support you on this journey, I’ve created resources designed to meet you where you are:
Read: Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partner’s Betrayal — a compassionate guide filled with insights and actionable steps. Also available on Amazon for your convenience.
Learn: Overcome the Devastation of Betrayal: 7-Day Course — a self-paced program to help you regain your footing and find peace.
Connect: Schedule a one-on-one coaching session with me for personalized guidance tailored to your unique journey.
Your story doesn’t end with betrayal — it begins with your decision to rise. If you’re ready to take that first step, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. You’re not alone, and healing is possible.
Next one: Unveiling Hidden Betrayals: Understanding the Subtle Reasons Why Love May Not Be Enough
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