Expert Insights on Betrayal Recovery and Healing:
Blogs by Vanessa Cardenas
In-depth Articles on Healing, Communication, and Personal Growth.
By Vanessa Cardenas, Betrayal Recovery Specialist
Serving Westchester, NYC, and the Surrounding Region in person, worldwide via Zoom
How might I? ~ how might I? ~ how might I see the good in my whole world shattering with three words? ("I've met someone.")
I asked this often. Even in counseling, years ago, I contemplated and lamented to our marriage therapist that I MUST be going through all this gut-wrenching pain and sorrow of betrayal for a reason.
A reason, at the time, wasn’t presenting itself, but for as long as I can remember, I always thought this way…things happened (to me) for a reason. Something better would be around the corner.
Sometimes, it was a whisper or a nudge. This time it was a shove down a flight of stairs (felt more like off a skyscraper roof).
And this time, rather than being patient, as I always waited for the reason to present itself, I strained to see it. I tried to clear my mind of all the intrusive thoughts and images. I struggled. Why wasn’t it presenting itself? Doubt crept in, but I knew in my bones the reason was there, waiting to be unearthed.
Of course, when I wasn’t straining and looking, it appeared before me. She looked right into my eyes, and what was to be a 10-minute meet-and-greet turned into 90 minutes of profound wisdom. She picked at it, tugged, pushed, and pulled until I let go—and gave birth.
It was born. My purpose. My mission.
My healing heart sang. My mood lifted. My energy soared.
There it was. I went through betrayal years ago so I could lead others through it. I’ve been through my own personal hell. I walked out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.
Today, I own my betrayal, no longer consumed by fear, shame, rage or sadness. I have clarity. I found my authentic self.
Now, I have the privilege of helping others all over the world to break free from negative self-beliefs, build confidence in themselves, and find direction in the dark. Lessons were learned.
I have been where you are, and I am on the other side with a map and a flashlight. Together, we will get you through.
Quote: “Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.”
~Brené Brown
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