What This '80s Hit Revealed About Life After Betrayal

This morning, a song from the 1980s hit me in a way I had never considered before. The Go-Go's Head Over Heels, which reached #11 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1984, is often remembered as an upbeat love song. But music has a way of finding us at different stages of life. When we listen with new ears, the meaning shifts.

Part of the confusion comes from another song with the same title — Tears for Fears’ Head Over Heels (1985), which is about unrequited love and friendship. But as I listened to the Go-Go's track today, I heard something entirely different.

After betrayal turned my life upside down, lyrics that once sounded lighthearted carried a new weight. When the words “head over heels” are replaced with “betrayed by you,” the song becomes a raw reflection of the chaos and disorientation that betrayal creates.

The Warning Signs We Miss

Been running so long, I’ve nearly lost all track of time
In every direction, I couldn’t see the warning signs

Anyone who has experienced betrayal knows this feeling. You question yourself, your memory, and the signs you thought you understood. You wonder how you missed it, how you could have been blindsided.

Holding On While Falling Apart

One hand’s just reaching out, and one’s just hanging on
It seems my weaknesses just keep going strong

This captures the exhausting push and pull of recovery. One part of you is reaching for clarity and connection. Another part is barely hanging on.

Forgetting the Heart

The voice of reason is one I left so far behind
I’ve waited so long, so long to play this part
And just remembered that I’d forgotten about my heart

In betrayal, survival mode often takes over. You do what is needed to keep moving forward, to keep the household or relationship functioning. But in the process, your own heart can get lost. Healing means remembering that your heart matters too.

Why This Matters

Songs remind us that art is not fixed. Its meaning shifts as we shift. For those walking through betrayal, everyday things — a song, a movie, a story — suddenly reflect our own inner world. They carry new meaning, reminding us of both our pain and our resilience.

If you are in the middle of betrayal recovery, know this: even when life feels “out of sync,” your heart can be remembered and restored. Healing takes time, but it is possible. And sometimes, what once sounded like a carefree pop song can become the soundtrack of your survival and your new beginning.

If You Stay in Your Marriage After Betrayal

You’ll have to grieve not just the betrayal, but the version of you that believed staying would never be an option.

You’ll need to deal with the side-eyes, the subtle comments, the people who loved you fiercely and don’t know how to support this choice.

You’ll be asked to rebuild…not what you had, but what comes next.

And you’ll be invited to return to yourself first.

That’s what The Relationship Reset is really about.

Want to explore what this kind of healing looks like?

I’m sharing a complimentary 6-month letter series for those who’ve chosen to stay and want to stay well.

It’s not therapy.
It’s not a program.
It’s not a cloaked sell.
It’s a rhythm of reflection, awareness, and reconnection.

It’s what I needed years ago. And now I give it to you, in honor of you and all you have been through. And giving me the opportunity to give.

Join The Reset Letters

Because staying is not weakness.
Sometimes it’s the boldest, most self-honoring thing you can do.